Honestly, this is my last political rant, normal service will be resumed.

This is hopefully my last political rant. This will not be politically correct so look away now if you are easily offended.

Firstly, we are supposed to be proud of being British. Apparently the government know exactly where every untaxed car is located among the millions of car owners in the UK, but we haven't got a fucking clue where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe Gordon Brown should put the fucking DVLA in charge of immigration.

Talking of Gordon Brown, He is what is known as a fencepost tortoise. If you are not sure of what one is then think of it this way. You are driving along a country lane when you stop in a lay-by and you see a tortoise on top of a fencepost. You know he didn’t get there by himself, he definitely doesn’t belong there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is there, and you just have to wonder what kind of idiot put him there in the first place.
But party loyalties aside I think of the current economic crisis like this. Recession is when your neighbour loses his job. Depression is when you lose your job. Recovery is when Gordon fucking Brown loses his.

Moving away from Mr Brown for a moment David Cameron says that the key to winning the younger voters is through the internet. Yet all he puts on the internet are boring web-cam videos on You-tube about his day at home. Now, if he really wanted to win the internet market, he would sneak in to 10 Downing Street at night, shave off Gordon Brown's hair, draw a big dick on his forehead, fuck his wife, film the whole thing, then put it on You-tube.

David Cameron lives in Notting Hill and this causes him problems at the festival every year. There are so many band wagons he doesn't know which one to jump on. I mean, seriously does anyone believe a word he says. He is, as we know a trained PR man and can orate from memory for two hours. A great skill, but still bullshit. I can shit huge turds. I don't see why that skill is any poorer than David 'Hitler boy' Cameron. Shiting on people is what politicians do best.
Oh and by the way Mr Cameron, have a little less botox.

David Cameron was quoted as saying ''I won't cut the NHS''. Yeah Yeah and Hitler said he wouldn't invade Poland.
The next concerning thing about David is just how thick he is. In July 2008 he cycled to the local shop and chained his bike to a two foot bollard. This allowed thieves to simply lift the bike over the bollard. What a wanker. This man is about to lead the country. He makes Bush look intelligent.

The liberals I actually feel sorry for. You need approx 400 seats to win the election outright. Even if the Liberals maintain a thirty percent vote they will have 88 seats. They can just not get elected under our current system. The reason why Labour and Conservatives do not want electoral change is exactly for that reason. Therefore this poor bloke from The liberals can say anything he wants, he can offer anything and knows that it will not happen for him. the liberals could invent the cure for cancer and they wouldnt win the election. Not until the way we vote changes. I tried to think up a joke about Nick Clegg..... nothing.

My final point here is the point that everyone seems to miss. Your vote is not for who you want to be Prime Minister. It is supposed to be for who you want to be your local MP. We do not vote for the Prime Minister.

Oh and by the way, did you know that an anagram of David Cameron is 'random advice'. A coincidence, I think not.

I will log off and leave you with this thought, David Cameron said he needed a strong mandate. Well Julian Clary is a big lad. I'm sure he'd be available for a few shandys and a spot of dominant fisting.